Mail Box Surprises And Other Ad Oddities

Unless you have been on some kind of TV abstinence program you have certainly seen all those ads for Viagra, Cialis, etc. It makes one wonder just how much of that stuff they are selling. Those ads can’t be cheap. On the other hand it is encouraging that the older set is at least getting some exercise program going. I mean those intimate moments that are constantly discussed as occurring must burn some calories and produce a bit of aerobic benefit for the participants. Those ads have become so pervasive that I pretty much tune them out like most ads on TV. I might “see” them but they don’t really register on my consciouness. Success breeds copycats. That is truism for marketing one oh one. Those ads to enhance male performance and cure all those wilted desire syndrome have now produced offshoots in other media.

Just yesterday I opened the mail and found a new ad for me, just me. How wonderful to be noticed and written to by name. It was a product offering me a veritable baccanalian paradise of pleasures if I tried this product. It featured a “vacuum therapy” method. I am not making that up. Immediately images came to mind of some dark dungeon and all those devices used to torture the unfortunates who were taken there. Furthermore I was informed that this method and device was “proven” to be 98% effective. I wonder who exactly sat there and monitored those situations when it was tried to verify that information. I mean is this some type of Rasmussen polling system? Surely, since this a medical issue there is science involved and the verification process is more stringent that anecdotal reports of success.

If they really wanted to make money they should charge guys to sign up for the testing program to assure the success rate legitimacy. No doubt there would be a line at the door. Of course there is always the question of exactly what do they consider “success”. Don’t worry I am not going to detail the possible speculation on what that could be. But informed minds do wonder.

This offer even had an extra. I was told that if I ordered right away that for a limited time I would also receive free with my purchase of this vacuum therapy device “accessories” to go with it. Now that really does open up even the clogged brain. Other than a willing partner exactly what “accessory” does one need? You think they are sending out blow- up dolls or ear- marked copies of the Tropic of Cancer? Now I thought about asking the little lady if she thought this would be a good purchase for the household but hesitated. Um, the answer might be fraught with disparaging remarks. Remember that old cliche about not asking a question that you don’t really want to hear the answer to. Would it be a great thrill for her to say sure let’s give that a try or would it be a huge kaboom on my ego?

I just wish those guys had sent out there stock symbol with the mailout. It might make a great addition to my dwindling IRA portfolio. It would sure be doing better that US Steel and their forward earnings projections are probably off the charts.

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Filed under Culture, Economics, Uncategorized

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